Up until this point in this 21-day Journey, ‘Means of Grace,’ we have focused on our vertical relationship with God. And there is good reason for that. Look at this short excerpt from a sermon on Martha and Mary (Luke 10:38-42) to remind you why. It’s titled Don’t just do something, sit there: spending time with God is more important than getting many things done or doing all things well.
Jesus says that Mary chose the better part because a ministry to our spirit must precede a ministry to others. The first command is to love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, strength, and mind. The second is like the first: you shall love your neighbor as yourself. Those commands are always in that order. If you get them turned around, it will destroy you. You'll burn out. Only neighbor-love growing out of a love for Jesus Christ has staying power. Before you become involved in service for others, you must allow Jesus Christ to serve you. Believe it or not, that's what Christ wants for you. He didn't bring you to himself to make you a slave. He brought you to himself to make you a friend. The Sovereign Majesty of the universe enjoys fellowship with us. Mary chose the good part because that's what Jesus wanted when he came to their home that evening.
But Jesus wants our lives to spill over with His Love and Life to touch more and more people with His Grace. And so we have included one ‘outward’ ‘means of grace’ so we “Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers…” (Hebrews 13:2). In Outlive Your Life, Max Lucado writes:
Long before the church had pulpits and baptisteries, she had kitchens and dinner tables. Even a casual reading of the New Testament unveils the house as the primary tool of the church. The primary gathering place of the church was the home. Consider the genius of God's plan. The first generation of Christians was a tinderbox of contrasting cultures and backgrounds. At least fifteen different nationalities heard Peter's sermon on the Day of Pentecost. Jews stood next to Gentiles. Men worshiped with women. Slaves and masters alike sought-after Christ. Can people of such varied backgrounds and cultures get along with each other?
We wonder the same thing today. Can Hispanics live in peace with Anglos? Can Democrats find common ground with Republicans? Can a Christian family carry on a civil friendship with the Muslim couple down the street? Can divergent people get along?
The early church did—without the aid of sanctuaries, church buildings, clergy, or seminaries. They did so through the clearest of messages (the Cross) and the simplest of tools (the home).
Not everyone can serve in a foreign land, lead a relief effort, or volunteer at the downtown soup kitchen. But who can't be hospitable? Do you have a front door? A table? Chairs? Bread and meat for sandwiches? Congratulations! You just qualified to serve in the most ancient of ministries: hospitality.
Something holy happens around a dinner table that will never happen in a sanctuary. In a church auditorium you see the backs of heads. Around the table you see the expressions on faces. In the auditorium one person speaks; around the table everyone has a voice. Church services are on the clock. Around the table there is time to talk.
Hospitality opens the door to uncommon community. It's no accident that hospitality and hospital come from the same Latin word, for they both lead to the same result: healing. When you open your door to someone, you are sending this message: "You matter to me and to God." You may think you are saying, "Come over for a visit." But what your guest hears is, "I'm worth the effort."
Practicing Hospitality
Don’t think this is only for some people or you need ‘an inviting space.’ [Read the helpful article at the end regarding this*]
Choose a meal/coffee time that you can invite someone to (either in your home, someone else’s home or to a ‘table,’-can be a picnic spot or a restaurant), whom you don’t know at all or only from a distance (Hebrews 13:2). When Jesus teaches about His return and the gathering of all nations before His throne, he commends the ‘sheep on his right…For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me a drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me” (Matt. 25:35). Or it could be someone you don’t know from the church (Romans 12:13; 1 Peter 4:9).
Practice listening well (which means they do most of the talking!), asking clarifying questions. If it’s a neighbour don’t make it your aim to invite them to church or assume a ‘I must share the gospel today’ stance. Just love them by ‘serving’ them and trust for the right opportunity down the road to share your story if there should be further opportunity to meet up again.
The following is from an online article, December 7, 2016, by Diana Gruver, Hospitality: Spiritual Disciplines (shortened for our purposes).
“But is hospitality for everyone? Or just for those of us who find it enjoyable or part of our calling?
Some fall into the trap of thinking they can’t be hospitable because their home isn’t big or clean enough, or they aren’t a good enough cook. Others become crippled by a combination of perfectionism, pride, and comparison, concerned about not measuring up to the standards of others.
Hospitality, though, is about much more than good food and a nice house, in spite of its typical portrayal. Hospitality is not about what is provided as much as how it is provided. Hospitality is all about welcome. It’s about extending open arms to other people and inviting them into a safe and warm space. Hospitality is about expressing the welcoming love of Christ to others—both friends and strangers. So, the most lavish banquet in the best decorated of homes could express little of the biblical sense of hospitality based on the attitude of the host, but simple bread and water could incarnate the welcome of Christ himself.
Christians look to the welcome of God as the inspiration for hospitality. He has welcomed us into the intimate circle of family and spread before us a rich banquet table—all while we were still in rags, unable to reciprocate, and still his enemy. The transforming power of the welcome of God through Jesus Christ should move our hearts to extend a mirrored welcome to the world. This attitude can take form beyond food and beyond the walls of our houses.
There is something precious about welcoming others into our homes and giving them a place at our table. We invite them into the intimate circle of our family life, just as God invited us into his family. There is something mysterious and powerful about eating with each other—perhaps part of the reason why at the center of the Christian worship tradition is a shared meal, Holy Communion.
Hospitality can be extended to friends and family, as well as those we would consider strangers, different from us, or even in some sense our "enemies." It can become a vehicle for reconciliation and peace-building, tearing down walls as we join around a shared table.
Thinking of hospitality as a spiritual discipline, at least in my experience, makes it less of a luxury or an if-there’s-time option and more of a priority. It also makes me expectant to learn more of God’s heart as I do it. We see God more fully as we act like him.
In the Spiritual Disciplines Handbook, Adele Calhoun shares some ideas to encourage hospitality:
Pray for the people you invite into your home.
Reach out to those beyond your family and close friends.
Host an exchange student or someone coming from out of town.
Spontaneously invite others for a meal.
Host a “craving potluck” and ask people to bring something they crave. Don’t try to make it perfect.
Let your guests help while they’re in your home.
Host a leftovers gathering, in which people simply bring what’s in their refrigerator
Create a standard list of conversation questions, which will put people at ease and invite people to open up.
Hospitality does not need to be a grand ordeal, though it can be. It need only be an expression of welcome to another.
How do you practice hospitality?